First response

Joyce Meyer

Very often do we hear ourselves making perhaps the most ridiculous statement known to man: "Well, I guess all I can do is pray." Most of us are guilty of treating prayer as a last-ditch effort and saying things like, "Well, nothing else is working, so maybe we should pray." Sadly but honestly, I think making such statements just goes to show how much we actually believe in the power of prayer.

We carry burdens we do not need to bear- and life is much harder than it has to be- because we do not realise how powerful prayer is. If we did, we would talk to God and listen to what He says about everything, not as a last resort, but as a first response.

Let prayer be our first response, and not our last resort!

AMEN! ~

if only confusion didn't exist; if only we both understood.

this is a very random and meaningless post but i recently just changed my blog template cos blogger had upgrades. and i also realise almost all of the links on this blog arent working anymore and i want to delete/change the links but i dont know how to on this new template im using. i guess ill just leave the links as they are for now, even tho theyre really outdated.

so much yet so little

just finished a rather reflective post... but on a lighter note, i managed to get most of my stationery stuff today! yaaaaay :D the only disappointing thing is that the store had run out of blue G2 pens and only had the black ones. no wonder i spent so much time at the pens corner. and i havent decided whether to buy foolscap here or get it only when i get there. the foolscap pads can be quite bulky and heavy to take with me.. Becks insists she gets me the super big eraser which she claims is awesomely good and user friendly. so yeah, with the stationery stuff more or less already taken care of, i shall be moving on to crossing out other stuff on the list. (:

so much to do yet so little time! 

Remembering Thursday.

11/8/11. That thursday, ill never forget.

and now, i have a walk to remember. okay hold on, let's make that two. 

two walks of different stories and backgrounds. 

one that stretched for months and the other for nineteen years (or more).

one that spoke of faith and the other of love. Faith + love. This brings into remembrance the all too familiar verse "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. "- 1 Cor 13:13. all that has happened has certainly also reminded me that my hope is found, only in You and you alone.  

1. i am so privileged to have had that faith. i am thankful i kept that faith. i am more than happy to see it all coming to pass. all honour and praise be unto You. 

2. i will hold on to that legacy of love, sacrifice, integrity, selflessness and courage. i will remember that smile, even that cheerful image of  you in my dream. i will never forget that moment when your right hand gripped mine so strongly and not wanting to let go. i will miss you. i am so proud of you. i love you very very very much.

nonetheless, you can say that both stories have not reached their ends. theyre not finished. both stories have left behind so much more. if you would just stop, ruminate, remember, and believe, you'll see. 

You are truly the omniscient God. You know our every thought, every trouble, every confusion, every future happening, our Everything.

i worship You.

my friend asked me to blog about how hot it is today. i thought that would be greatly random but okay ive found a pseudo reason to actually blog about the sun. im admitting it is sooooo extremely hot today. lunched out today and im sweating just from a 5 min walk under the sun. Can't wait for fop later!!! i miss the old airport road tau huay, too bad the stall's closed today ): ohwell, pray hard i don't melt during the three hour queue later.


ps. can't believe i typed "today" 3 times in this post. goodness.

i like this picture- A LOT A LOT AND A LOT. It brings cheer for some reason, like I can imagine tearing off a smiley tag and sticking it on my cupboard or diary. Tear off a smiley tag too! (:

ottawa bike guy

Apparently Ottawa citizens throw away a lot of potentially profitable stuff. The guy above is the champ urban miner thus far. Hats off! 

hopeofallhearts

Hope of All Hearts

Planetshakers

The world may fade

You will remain

In the midst of the trial

You will always be, I'll sing

Our God never fails

Our God never fails

With hope and light

You reign over all

Though my heart may fail

You will always be, I'll sing

Our God never fails

Our God never fails

Praise in the morning

Praise in the evening

Praise when I'm laughing

Praise when I'm grieving

There will be dancing

There will be singing

Upon injustice we will tell of our God

The hope of all hearts

The hope of all hearts 

Is you

Your love never fails

Your love never fails

In darkness,In trial, my soul shall sing

Of his mercy, and kindness

Our offering of praise

Our God never fails

Our God never fails

runaway.

tonight is one of those im too awake to fall sleep because i just need to let it all go right now lest i explode into a million unpatchable pieces. 

1. 11-14 july: on monday i finally settled bristol accomodation and applied for Wills and Churchill in the end. also i spent the days buying ingredients for dad's cake and also making the cake layers and ganache. it sure was hard work. also met up with cass and we ate and talked and walked and had a great time of catching up.
2. 15 july: met the cousins- rach jie, soph and celine. we intended to spend the afternoon cycling at east coast park, but our plans were foiled when the weather was unpredictable. hence we spent some time at parkway and played monopoly deal over apple pies at east coast park's macs. hahaha. but at least it was good time spent with the cousins(: also, it was dad's birthday. after dinner we had a mini family celebration. the family had the double chocolate layer cake which i baked. glad it turned out okay tho it could very well be the perfect diabetes cake geez ): also got notified i wasnt going for nbs camp. admittedly, i felt a tinge of disappointment. but i also felt it was He closing the door for me beacuse He made a way for me to attend cf camp instead. and thanks to hx, all the last minute sign ups were settled and alright. will share about cf camp later on. 
3. 17 july: uconnecct sharing. was doubtful about my own capability/even god's ability to carry me through the sharing. but i did it. no. correction.. GOD DID IT. i know i couldnt have done it without Him. then also, uconnectors had some of dad's cake though i was reluctant to share the cake as i wanted to save them from the mega sugar kill. as expected, most of them (the girls) admitted it was too sweet for a cake. but azaac and lawry said they actually liked it for some miraculous reason. well at least two people liked it.. but still, no more sugar to the cake recipes from now on. i couldnt take the ultimate sweetness myself. it was overpowering much, yikes :S after that was badminton with uconnectors. that was really good, because firstly, i improved from the last time i played. i discovered the serving method which i found myself comfortable with (and the shuttlecock goes rather far and high actually! ), all thanks to watching joann serve once from afar! i also got the hang of hitting yaaay (: secondly, badminton was a fantastic workout session. it felt great to be sweating after three hours of exercise with cousin sophie (my badminton doubles partner) and friends. all in all, i had a good sunday, and i thank God for all of that. 
4. 19-22 july: cf camp. Rather easy going and relaxed, it was nonetheless fun and reflective at the same time. made new friends and am also thankful the camp allowed me to rethink my own ways and the ways of the world. the devotions opened up my eyes to the sufferings of starving people living in poverty- stricken parts of the world, and made me quietly resolve in my heart to always remember the underprivileged. we should think before we act because our actions have consequences. it's as simple as not wasting food. i need to break out of this comfort bubble ive been living too comfortably in because it's killing the happiness and hopes of many others and myself. 
5. 23 july: and today i went for the uk pre-departure seminar. met many ex classmates and the large community of singaporean students heading to uk this year. there was excitement in the air, tho i also got reminded of the not so few things ive to settle for pre-departure. strangely enough, i started wondering how well i would settle in the new living environment which i would be calling home for the next five years (if all goes well). ive always thought everything would be fine. but now i guess it's not all that easy and it'll take some time.  
6. lately my emotions have been oscillating drastically from one extreme end to another. sometimes i wish i was an emotional robot, but i realise one can never become one no matter how hard he tries. when you try to turn off your emotional soundtrack and slip into fluidity, it works for a while but soon you find yourself back at square one. this ain;t normal- not being able to express how you feel because you've blocked off all thoughts, or are in some sort of denial. i feel like an emotional retard, unable to give honest answers to my own questions which i thought i could answer so well before. and the problem lies in the fact that i don't even know how i am feeling myself.  So,,, i should not to be easily influenced by how others see things, and to have my own point of view and to stick to it. but dont you need to hear from people and gather sufficient information before forming your own firm decision too? conflicting thoughts and emotions. why does the past always have to be raked again and again, especially when you know it isn't a happy thing to talk about and which only makes me feel worse than i already am feeling now. is that really necessary? the past cannot be re-lived and it isn't actually serving me well. cant you illustrate your point in another way?  also, cant you see im currently caught in a difficult phase of uncertainty? it becomes really tough for me to take a stand and put my entire heart and mind into either track because i dont know if what im investing in is worth fighting for or worth cherishing. as much as i want to go deeper, im afraid to. it's very hard to draw the line. right now i can only think of not wanting to lose the faith that i found and have been holding so strongly on to for the past 7 months. the worst of all is when i dont really know what i want anymore. somehow everything has sank into the sinking pool of negativity and doubt which ive yet to rescue myself from. Oh save me from this sinking sand.  i need You more than anything else i could hope or dream of. 

and now it's time to start tidying up my schedule for the coming week. i didnt realise i would be moving out in just a few days. 

All this waiting, now, is by design.

WORTH THE WAIT BY 33MILES!

I can see your heart is yearning

Everything is so unclear

Is the answer ever coming

After all these years

It's not an easy feeling

Sometimes it seems unfair

But He knows just what He's doing

With unanswered prayers

So hold on

It's worth the wait

Just keep believing

God has perfect timing

Never early, never late

It takes a little patience

And it takes a lot of faith 

But it's worth the wait

What if what you're desperate for

Isn't what you really need

What if there was something more

Than what you dreamed

We may not always see

We may not understand

But He knows just what He's doing

He's got a bigger plan

So hold on

In His time, you'll be fine

All this waiting, now, is by design


In His time, you'll be fine
All this waiting, now, is by design


This song speaks to me so much right now. I can literally link a story to every part of this song. I've been believing and hearing and waiting and trusting a whole lot. And Worth the Wait really just captures it all. So yay to 33 miles- Yay to Jason Barton and Chris Lockwood. Yay to God (:
Just hold on to that faith and let it never dwindle!


ps. their other songs are worth checking out too. Arms that Hold the Universe / Underneath / Hold On / There is a God / (and many many more!) (: And just to clarify, I'm not blue, sad or anything! But they're just great songs that encourage you to hold on to the hope and love you have in Him! Be blessed (:
____________________________

yesterday. today. and tomorrow.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. 

The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

- Albert Einstein.

It's been two hours and I haven't been able to focus to even start. My head has been a whirlwind. It keeps drifting to things that (probably) don't really matter anymore/for now. Ironically this s  p  a  c  e of time I have right now is making me think about events and life even more than before. I suppose being busy causes you to kinda just go-with-the-flow and which doesn't really leave time for you to reflect. But also ironically, while I am trying hard to stop thinking and questioning right now, Einstein says to never cease asking questions. Or maybe my head keeps running because I've been excavating too much-- too much into the past, too much into the present, and too much into the future. When maybe all I should be doing is to focus on what is to be done now because there is a deadline. And I want to make it on time and not miss it. Reflections and further questions should probably wait till next time.

Todays will soon become yesterdays and tomorrows todays. There's just so much in my head now I don't know where to start. But for now, I guess I'll be clinging on to Einstein's LEARN from yesterday. LIVE for today.and HOPE for tomorrow. I think it kinda puts everything together quite succinctly. (:

And just last night I made a realization and told myself: To hold on to yesterdays because they can help you live your today, and hold on also to today because you never know when the present will help you live your tomorrow.

the little things

back then, i thought those were challenges too insurmountable, and titles too insignificant to count. but now i know He knows my future, because it is now that i am happy and proud to have taken the bold step, it is now that i see those little things filling the gaps. I never did forsee this happening. But now I am forever grateful. One thing learnt: To cherish and never underestimate the seemingly smallest of memories, whether it be events/rewards/ideas etc because one will never know if and when these will grow into something bigger, important or even life changing. It could be now, soon, later, or maybe never. Still, count your blessings and name them one by one. when ever was Your grace not sufficient for me. In my heart, spells a big T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U to You.

ps. my first post after a year.

Jaw Break.

It's late and im tired, but just thought i blog about this before bed. 

If you dont already know, i had been having a locked (right) jaw for about a month (or longer) already, and two visits to the doctor had not helped at all. On the first visit, the doctor just told me to 'relax my jaw muscles' and 'eat softer food'. i was like okay, yet laughing silently to myself. I couldnt really see how doing that would help much. It wasnt like i was chewing on MARS bars everyday. The second visit to the doctors was when i missed math ct cos i was sick. This time, she told me i had to go see a dentist, and 'they may have to do something, but hopefully not'. The word 'something' shook me a little. No operations and no yanking of my jaw please, i told myself. NONONO.
So anyway my stubborn jaw continued to bother me for the next two weeks. It hurt bad when i tried to open my jaw fully, and this was especially the case during meals. It was hard to feed myself. The spoon became too huge for my tiny (-ier) mouth. And, my smile was no longer symmetrical. Haha. The right cheek muscles were not working right either. :/ 

Then, something miraculous happened on Saturday's Easter service at the alter call. When the pastor prayed for my jaw, i could feel it ever so clearly, that there was movement in my right jaw, as if someone was shifting it physically! I wondered if it was really God. Having walked out of the sanctuary, i found that my jaw was unlocked (almost fully)! No doubt, the change was palpable.
My jaw's been hurting less the past few days though my right cheek muscles have yet to fully recover. Theyre still not working properly. Think ill still be getting an X-ray done just to check and make sure everything's alright with my jaw. But anyway, for the healing miracle performed on Easter, Im really thankful! Im sure now that the movement of my right jaw during the altar call prayer was indeed Him. Praise God! :D Im trusting Him that ill need no operations/other scary procedures or whatsoever and that everything with my jaw and cheek muscles will be fully restored quick!

Title-less. Or Not.

This is my first 2010 post after nearly two months, and i forsee a similar or worse trend in the upcoming months. I don't think anyone visits this blog anymore, and this is of course provided there was anyone to start off with in the first place. Oh well. i should be sleeping right now, but i just had this sudden urge to blog (or rant :/) and so here goes.

Life's been so crazily busy. I feel like im on a mad runaway train that never makes a station stop. Looking back at my previous post, i sometimes wonder how i ever proclaimed The Last Two Sentences. Twenty ten is NOT a breeze. Four training sessions per week is quite something, then there's the piano exam that's coming really really soon (8march), and not to forget, the endless tutorials and demands of school life. Oh yes and h3 is screaming for my attention really desperately. Everything's scrambling for my time and it's really not fun. My weekends are not easy at all. The only thing i ever look forward to nowadays is probably church. It is one place and time where/when i can finally stop this train and do something i truly enjoy. So for this, im thankful. (: It is really a much anticipated activity considering my Mega Busy Saturdays. So, while i may want to take back The Last Two Sentences of my previous post, i shall choose to resist and warrior this whole battle altogether, believing that He is currently sandpapering the rough edges in my life. (: 

Alright anyway, just sent Soph off at the airport just now. And she gave us each a really pretty handmade card-like thing. Thank you for the sweet card! (: LOVE YOU COUSIN. WILL MISS YOU TRUCKLOADS.  ALL THE BEST OVER AT AUSSIELAND! HAVE FUN. AND TAKE CARE! Visit you and jie after As maybe (i hope)!

(So many uconnectors are leaving. and all for aussieland. ill have to get used to uconnect without you guys. ): )

Okay i should really get to bed NOW. The break of dawn will soon trigger the start of another Mega Busy Saturday that may get unexpectably busier than usual. (the multiplier effect? HAHAHA) Friendly match tomorrow morning in school. And the immediate subsequent stage would be piano and after that, lunch (finally), church (GLEE), and finally, home-sweet-home (eightish pm) after a long hard day!

 

It is God's resounding "I AM" that drowns out my weak "I can't".  

Amen.

Good Night! (:

t.h.e.g.r.e.a.t.p.i.c.t.u.r.e.

Ive been loving december so much and it is gonna be hard saying goodbye. Though very busy, it has definitely been one of laughter, tears, friends and family. The last two weeks have been exceptionally/especially memorable- FAMILY time has been really really great. It's gonna be real lengthy if i start listing everything that happened, so in short, i relished every single day when i woke up to the knowing that it's gonna be another exciting day with the family. You've made my december so dazzling. Love you all (and am missing you guys already) <3

On a sidenote, uconnect chalet was awesome. Really. God 's presence was so powerfully felt throughout the three days, like how he granted us wonderful weather, a good fun time together, during worship, during keyboard playing as well as during the sermon sharings. Thank God for vincent's and josh's salvations, as well as for His great message to me during the altar call on the second night. In a nutshell, it was a fantastic time of bonding and fun with friends and cousins! (im really really glad they went!)

So anyway, two-o-o-nine has galloped past so so quickly (though sometimes it did feel more like a trot or even a walk). SO much has happened, both happy and sad. Apart from all the ups, i must say that there has inevitably been downs too. However, I believe it still calls for me to thank God for everything that he has painted on my 2009 picture, whether it be blue or yellow. (: Without God, my life would be an unimaginable dark picture. i thank God for His God-strong boat that has sailed me through the darkest storms, for the many pretty rainbows after them all, and above all, for shaping me into a better painter of my life. Of course, You are still the ultimate Potter and i am just the clay. I can sense that it is going to be another exciting year ahead- an arduous but enjoyable one. And right now, i can already see the glorious sun rays behind the long stretch of shady trees and creepers. Also, at the end of the long journey, i picture a stronger me, holding on to the hand that has been guiding me all this while. May i never let go of that hand, because You make this whole picture complete. I can't wait for twenty- ten. 
Bring it on, AMEN!

two months

yummylicious

For lunch today,
 i had half a bowl of chicken porridge at 3pm.
BUT 
for dinner today, i had: 

a full plate of cartel's pork ribs (delicious but HUGE!)

a slice of mum's tiramisu (always so good- perfected!)

a cup of home-made expresso (using Dome's coffee beans + the new coffee making machine from perth) (the best home-made expresso ive had ever! :D )

ice cream (flavours: green tea, cookies and cream, durian!) (i actually managed a scoop of durian! haha)

which explains why im feeling so full and lethargic right now probably.. this calls for a run tomorrow maybe? and the double training sessions on tuesday will definitely pay off well. haha. 

cant wait to feel hungry again!

right now, this feels uncomfortable. 

but of course, everything was yummylicious! :D

ten things

1. YFA camp was a blast! it was great to see the pathlight kids again, and to have them remember and call your name after 5 months was just so so sweet. (: it did get tiring, but definitely a time of great fun and joy too! every kid is so lovely and unique in his/her own way! (p.s. cass, i support you in your new cause! al the way! i wanna watch the kids grow up too! ) and of course it was awesome serving the kids together with the other volunteers too! (:
   

2. Nets were locked up in the ish store today ): so it was mainly drills/skills training. and we learnt diving today! it felt like i was a silly girl who kept falling down on my left side and rolling over on my side a gazillion over times. and i cant do the sideways/shoulder backwards somersault! ): but anyway it was quite fun actually, apart from the pain. OUCH. and the frog leaps that concluded training did not help at all! my legs are jellified now! how am i gonna get up from bed tmr.
   

3. 
   

   The Litz piece has been making some progress. yay. (: hope to clear scales and pieces by jan!
   

4. Laos OCIP has been terminated. major pullout :/ on the flipside, that gives me an extra week to do other stuff too! (: 
   

5. Catching Hossan leong in some Beauty and the Beast show at the National Library tomorrow. not sure what it really is. free tickets. but i guess it's about a disney movie turned into a real life comedy? haha ill see.
   

6. Been listening to the All For Love planetshakers album (: (and Hillsong's Stronger and Bluetree's God of this city! :D)
   

7. Went kite flying on sunday (u-connect event). a pity cass, jean and bettyhong couldn't go ): anyway, kim and i couldnt get out kite up. we kept trying and tried running but our kite refused. well it managed to stay up for a while for a few times but thereafter, it didnt work out. but still it was quite a fun experience! haha. qr was still having his hair cut in serangoon gardens HAHA. 
   

8. im sooooooo fulll nowwwwww. and i was just feeling hungry two hours ago.
   

9. the holiday's looking good somehow! (: 
   

10. Alright, nights! :D
    

strawberry avalanche, crash over me.

i cleared the mess.

and i thought it was all over and good.

but i was wrong.
another of its kind was following right behind. 

and it got me caught in a bigger bubble.
sigh :/

i hope i fixed it.

And fixed it well.

i hope i made the right decisions.
i hope i burst that bubble completely

and i pray hard that everything will turn out alright and good.

i hope theyll understand.

i really do.

s.m.i.l.e at the storm! (:

Cass just turned seventeen today! Glad she had an awesome birthday today. (:

Certain things have been getting better, thankfully, but some of which have still been disturbing me. And recently life has been reminding me again that everything eventually falls back on His perfect plan. Regardless of the outcomes (even of some issues not quite settled), i know and am thankful that He is the driver of ths seemingly longgggggg and not-so-easy ride. And with consistent and persistent prayer, i can be sure that He will take care of everything, and His much needed grace will always be there for me to further His purpose in my life.  (Right Hughes?)

Gosh I cant wait for Tim Elmore's conference this friday at cornerstone! im going to be late, cos ill be rushing from vball at school. ive no idea how late ill be exactly or how im even going to get to cornerstone. But somehow im still veryveryvery excited for it. :D maybe it's God's hinting that He has something special to tell me at the conference! it was this sudden urge to say a firm YES to elizabeth on sunday. really. before that i was still not yet decided. haha. And i just realised that the topic of the conference is also aligned with the promise God revealed to me through various prophecies, the latest being jan this year. so maybe it IS Him talking to me? oh well, ill find out soon! i feel excited somehow. hahahah. And ive also been praying real hard for next friday's kite flying cum bbq event! Lord please let their hearts be open.

YAY training tmr! Haha yes ive been looking forward to vball a lot lately too! i dont really know why though. teehee. it has been really satisfying to see the team progressing and yourself improving together with your teammates. It's kinda fun actually! (:

Somehow with so many things (kinda) going on in my life right now, im kinda happy despite all the rush and confusions and madness and sometimes, solitude. i suppose i can say that it may be due to God's hand working in my life, because ive realised that He is actually in the midst of revealing certain directions for my life right now. And i can see Him preparing me for His BIG almighty plan awaiting me. Like slowly. But surely. And it's exciting!

hahahah i cant really explain this sudden joy but i am excited!

"For,

All men are like grass,

and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

but the word of the Lord stands forever. "

- 1 Peter 1: 24-25

(ps.and i hope my posts have been easier to read. )

I'll Stand.

The Stand 

The I Heart Revolution: With Hearts As One

Hillsong United

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
ALL I AM IS YOURS

Amen.

No school this week cos it's OP week. Can't wait for OP to be over!!! go f.l.a.w.l.e.s.s. !
i wonder how my december's gonna be like. i know it's gonna be a really busy one- vball trainings. revision. homework. outings with family and friends. one-week laos cip trip. annual extended family trip. visiting of relatives in msia. christmas. church christmas lunch. uconnect chalet (and the cousins are coming down too! YAY. )
well the laos trip is not 100% confirmed yet, but still, other things will definitely fill up the schedule. no doubt about that.
oh wells, i suppose it's gonna be an exciting holiday nevertheless!
can't wait. (:

ps. ive given up on trying to make this blog easier to read. it became worse as seen when i experimented on my previous two posts. oh wells, shall have to live with this not-too-easy-to-read format then!

Alligator Crawl has just been taken off my exam pieces list today! The piano teacher has just changed the List C piece to Consolation by Liszt. I agree with my teacher that this may be a change for the better, because after so many months of practising, i still cant seem to get the notes/chords right always. Hitting those jumping notes/chords has always been a maybe and not a definite. Plus, jazz may not be for me after all. It usually requires that heavy feel which my fingers somehow fail to produce (not strong enough maybe? haha). In summary i dont think ill be able to pull the piece off even if i continue to practise real hard before the exam in feb. And anyway i like the new song. (: it's got a flowy and soothing touch.. hopefully, the liking for the song will spur me on to practise real hard (though it's gonna be a really busy nov/dec and jan/feb), and that the practices will in turn translate to mastering the piece well (and not fail like alligator crawl), and eventually maybe inspire me to love the piece even more! yay. I trust this will all work out with God to help me pick myself up and get on track once more despite the honest fact that im left with a seemingly short/fast four months to master the piece. Faith!


On a sidenote, ive been really busy these days, not with schoolwork, but with the family (paternal and maternal). <3 It was surely a blessed time of fellowship (over eating, mostly. haha) and just catching up on each other's lives with the grandparents, aunts and cousin.. Mum's birthday buffet dinner at sheraton was great too! Isn't it so sweet to have your eight other sisters celebrating your birthday with you? im sure mum's touched and so am i. (:


someone tell me what's going on.

hello world. Say farewell to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Haha just learnt of a word that's even longerrrrrrr--- Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!   FORTY-FIVE letters. Goshhh. It's crazy righttt??? I think im going crazy with all these weird words coming suddenly. Haha. Well for interest's sake, it is apparently a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungs, or something to that effect.. haha. 

On a side note, the grandparents are coming down tomorrow morning! AND mum's 6 other sisters are coming down in the afternoon! HAHA exciting. That'll make the nine tan sisters family! the house is gonna be so happening tomorrow. haha.

Oh noo i missed gym training today due to pw OP dry run and on friday ill have to leave training early at six! >< ahhhhhhh. Mum's birthday dinner is at seven. so yeap, itll be one hour of training from 5-6 and then goodbye. :( but then again, im excited for the dinner! Itll be so great with all her sisters celebrating together. Happy family! <3 Haha yeap so that's why my aunts are coming down by the way.

wheeeee tomorrow's restructured timetable is kinda dumb. here goes:- CV, break, PE, end of schoool. hahaha.

triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun: Fear or a phobia concerning the number 13.

HAHAHAHA didnt know there was a name for that...

Gosh and have you heard of abeCEDARIAN? HAHA im a total abecedarian in these newfound words. :D

lalallalalalallalalla. off to dinner.

balanced like a rainbow above you

Yay ade's through with psleeee! :D congrats deee!
i wanna watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs!!!!
Haha watched The Adventures of Food Boy on Disney today, about Food Boy (Lucas Grabeel)(HSM's ryan) and his superpower of making food in his palms. Chose this over The Biggest Loser on Hallmark. HAHAHA.
Gosh every J1 in my class's and 4H's msn list is online now! Like every single J1. Full attendance. no kidding! Haha everyone's rushing PW i guess. OP dry run this wednesday! So that makes us the first batch in school for the dry run. >< gosh.
Four consecutive lectures tomorrow!

a childlike faith

Ade was such an encouragement the other day-- the Thursday when she took her psle math exam. The night before, she couldnt sleep till about two-ish in the morning though she had settled under her blanky at around nine thirty. It was most likely the two cups of coffee that mum had made for her in the afternoon that was keeping her wide awake. Then on Thursday morning when mum saw her before ade left for school, mum apologised to ade for causing her difficulty in sleeping the previous night. In response to that, Ade replied spontaneously and yet so sweetly, "Mummy, can you please stop blaming yourself? What makes you think that God won't do a miracle?" That was awesome.

When mum told me this, i was so heartened and encouraged to know that my twelve-year-old sister has such a remarkable childlike faith in her heavenly Father. Despite the not-so-good-looking circumstances, Ade still displayed such great confidence and implicit trust in God, knowing that He would give her the strength she needed to carry herself through her math exam. Given this, shouldnt we as "older" and more "mature" Christians, have an even greater level of faith and trust in God in our daily lives no matter how bad the circumstance looks? This childlike faith, i believe, is the key to unlocking heaven's doors (matt 18:3). i marvel and am encouraged by my twelve year old sister's simple, yet genuine, childlike faith.

a disco ball is just hanging by a thread

Promos are finally over! *relief* no matter the results, i know ive tried my best (though it could have been better), and that's what counts most right? it was really the occassional playing of worship songs, friends' smses and His almighty presence, peace and strength that kept me going and alive. Seriously. Im thankful! (:

Prata house with the class , icekimo and 500 days of summer today-- It was a great day of fun and friends! yay. (:

Gosh promos just ended and OP dry run is next wed, training resumes tomorrow, school and lectures resume next week, piano lessons in one/two weeks time, haha there's never a break to anything right?  oh wells. life goes on i guess. All the way jo!

P.S: shoutout to kelly, grace, rong and xinying!-- missing you guys!!!                                           

When Examinations Start

WHEN EXAMINATIONS START 

Lord, grant me a quiet heart,
Before the examinations start.
Lead me to use my leisure hours,
To reinvigorate my powers.

My mind from daydreams liberate,
Give me the will to concentrate.
From all distractions set me free,
That in my studies I may be.

A student with a sole intent,
To make my work a sacrament.
From my faint heart in love expel,
All failure, fears that therein dwell.

And from my pillow drive away,
All dark forebodings of the day.
Help me in faith to rest so deep,
That I may have untroubled sleep.

While notes and subjects I prepare,
May I not lose my zest for prayer.
And may I not forget to look,
For daily guidance in Thy Book.

In quietness, confidence and peace,
May I have quick and sure release.
From needless fears and apprehension,
From outward strain and tension.

So may examinations find,
Each one alert in heart and mind.
Thus inward joy and peace possessing,
May examinations prove a blessing.

  (haha this is so cute)



Dearest A/Olevelers/PSLE primarysixes/promos JC1ians/anyone else taking any other exam, the above poem is for you! i hope it'll bless you just as it has blessed me (special thanks to RJSV and Campus Crusade for Christ). (: i love it. i feel it is so applicable to a student's life just like yours and mine! Just like what Dr Ed Pousson mentioned at yesterday's sermon on Naomi and Ruth that bitterness can be a blessing in disguise, our exams can prove a source of blessing too! Promos and the piano exam (14sep!) are drawing reallly really near for me. But let's be patient as we walk through this field of wilderness, leaning on God's strength, wisdom and guidance always. All the way everyone (especially to my dearest soph and celine)! :D

hello cedar!

i went back to cedar today and met the cedar teachers and friends! Wished Mr Sng, Mr Chia, Mrs Chia and Mrs Lim. Didn't get to see Mr Yau and i foolishly forgot about leaving stuff in the teachers' pigeon holes, so his biscottis and note is still with me. hehe, guess ill pass it to jerusha/yh's sister. It was a joy to have met all my friends again- kelly, grace, xinying, rongqi, and not forgetting the rest of 4H 08! the class bought their lunches and then lunched at my place cos we couldnt think of an eatery big enough to accomodate everyone.. it was a fantastic time of catching up! Miss you all! <3 

I'll find your footprints in the sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much I no along the way
Then I heard you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid ooh
And just when I
Have thought I’ve lost my way

You give me strength to carry on
That’s when I heard you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

When I’m weary
Well I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is full of sadness and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand
You’ll find my footprints in the sand




i thank you for your promise that you're always there. i thank you that whenever my heart is full of sadness and despair, you'll carry me, as My Best Friend, such that I can find your footprints in the sand, always and forever.<3

In the palm of your hands

Into your hands
I commit again
With all i am
For you Lord


You hold my world
In the palm of your hands
And i am yours
Forever


Jesus i believe in you
Jesus i belong to you
You're the reason that I live
The reason that i sing
With all i am


I'll walk with you 
Wherever you go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust in you


And i will live
In all of your ways
And your promises
Forever

Yes Lord, i want to stand strong on your promises no matter the circumstance. And i thank you so much for reaching down from heaven to earth. Thank you for holding me in the palm of your hands always, through sad and happy times. Jesus take the wheel. I can't do this on my own. I place my trust and faith in you. You take control.

 ---

Alrights off to work! Gosh my piano exam is less than a month away! 14 SEPTEMEBER. And promos is only slightly later. ahhhhh. Kay toodles.

Right now i'm officially drained to the core. I can't move, and my brain can't think anymore. I just want my sleeeeeeppp! But I've yet to do econs essay outline and math by tomorrow. Ahh i really dont have any ounce of strength left to write! Sigh, i think ill rush them out tomorrow morning instead.

Thankfully piano was cancelled today, otherwise im sure ill just collapse on the piano and die. Seriously. And the bruises on my fingers and arms were not helping at all. I wouldn't have had the stamina and energy to play through all the pieces. Training had never been that tiring for so longgg, but it was worth it i guess. The guys served to the girls today, and their serves were so hard that they actually bruised my arms. Fortunately they dont hurt much. And thank you anyway for being so helpful in coaching us and helping us along the way. (:

Okay back to pw eom now.. apologies to esther for taking so long in the shower! im literally dead right now and i found it so hard to even muster energy to give myself a good after-training shower! rawr.

Shall munch on mum's great biscottis. Tiramisu later maybe? haha i need to stay awake and functioning. God please renew my strength and wake me up when i fall asleep i pray. Amen!
Kay toodles.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Poor dogs and cats for their fur. Poor cows for their leather. Poor ba-bas for their wool. ): Kicked, beaten and dragged to slaughterhouses before getting their throats slit? Just watched the  PETA Educational Video which was, and still is so disturbing. I could barely watch the entire video! It had one of the most gory and heartbreaking scenes i had ever witnessed and i had to constantly scroll down to look at the youtube comments instead. I could literally feel a lump forming in my throat.

Becks just got home from FOP. I didnt go along today because this weekend's gonna be crazily busyyyy. It'll be so packed again (to its max) with everything like tutorials, piano, pw, church and family dinner. I was taking the whole journey back home from school to decide whether or not to go, and in the end huijun decided for me. If I had gone for fop, there'll seriously be zero time left for any homework/studying for monday's tutorials, bio mock spa and photosynthesis test.. and i managed to do some pw tonight! yay a pat on my back to myself! hahaha.(:

Saw Mrs Chiaw today! We exchanged smiles, with her on the bus and huijun and i at the bus stop. I guess amanda had a nice chat with mrs chiaw all the way back home. (: i remember cute chiaw's bio lessons and i miss secondary schoool in general.. somehow im grateful to Mrs Chiaw for making the biggest swap ever (from one end of the class to the other!) for that drastic swap blesssed me with one of the best friends ever- kelllyyyyykhoooowanyeeee! :D i miss youuuu! Hope your tiramisu will be the world's best!


Thank you for your covering over me this week, for assuring me that the occasional flus i had were not swine, and i really thank you also for all the friends and people you have blessed  me with. May you continue to mould me according to your plans, that even on this long, bumpy and difficult road ahead, ill continue to put my trust in you and YOU ALONE. Amen. <3

BLACK OR WHITE?!

I have been asked to represent my GRC, in an upcoming inter-GRC netball competition! The coordinator, Jessica, had asked me last year but i rejected her due to Olevels. She called me last night to ask me if i could join the team this year, and i realised it was difficult to give an immediate answer too. >< i cant decide on whether to commit to it or not. JC life has become so much more hectic and im afraid ill not be able to cope if i commit to the team, especially since the competition will be held late August which will be near my piano exam and just a month away from promos (ahhh!).  Besides i dont know how far the team will go. Should it progress to the next round, i fear it'll eat into September which will be disastrous. yikes. :/ It will  definitely be an exciting experience, from which i'll make new friends (who will all be older than me by at least a few years)  and at the same time have the honour of representing my GRC which will be kinda cool. (: But once again, itll be tough. Also, i havent played netball for ages! My shooting skills have probably deteriorated to the point of no return. haha seriously. I'll feel bad rejecting the offer because i sort of promised that i'll join this year after Os. But accepting it would also imply a very busy and scary august/september. Sigh, it's a brave decision both ways.  Please direct me to the decision that will be best for me i pray. I need to decide asap! She's expecting an answer real sooooon!!

she's standing behind the curtains

She's feeling like a "a small cog in a huge machine". She's working backstage, unnoticed? Is it because she's too humbled herself, such that the simplest of help she gives doesn't matter much? I don't know either. I pray Philippians 4:6-7 today.

And it's everything we've never known

Met rachael this afternoon! We didnt watch transformers as intended because the 445 show at cathay was fully booked. :( Hoping that we could get tickets at plaza's goldenvillage, we walked all the way there. Sadly, the next show then was a 645 show which was too late cos rach had to leave for ballet at seven. Haha so guess what, we decided to get our long overdued birthday cake!! We had a chocolate lava cake at starbucks which was really really gooodd! yummm. so yepp, that was our birthday cake. Soon after abigail came along! it was like a mini 6kindness reunion again! then we walked and we talked all the way back to taka cos abigail wanted food. Walked a bit more and checked out the new orvchard central mall till rach had to leave for ballet. yay rach we finally met up for our birthday! it was fun besides meeting so many primary school and college mates around in town! hehe. :D

we'll fill the metro skies with country air

During the last week of june hols everyone was hoping that the school would just postpone the cts/extend the june holidays. Everyone was not looking forward to the first week of school- CTS. But now with cts over, i feel glad that cts were not postponed/ holidays were not extended. Otherwise we could have lost this long weekend break that would have required us to study for cts on the upcoming youth day, which would have been kinda sad. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... :D

So after cts yesterday, the six of us-- cass, yethong (betty. haha), kim, jean, esther and i went out to eat! and we really did. Initially we intended to just have lunch/branch and so we decided on Shoduku at rafflescity. It was my first time there and my first time using a temporary 'credit card'! hahaha. I had Omu rice with grilled chicken and it was great. (: We took so many pictures during the meal, and SOOOO many random shots. hahah. we were so full that our tummies were too contented for dessert which was supposed to be good there. so only esther had her dessert. haha.

After that we walked around, entered random shops and  looked at cute/pretty stuff. The three dimensional pop ups in those birthday cards were simply amazing. The pop ups were cut-outs from the card paper itself and they were just so so good. Cass wanted to buy the card with the grand piano pop-up but sadly, there weren't any on sale. :( After that, it was really EATING and MORE EATING.  hahaha. We were so full but yet the many food shops in the mall were too difficult to resist! I bought two pretzels, my usual sour-cream-and-onion flavoured ones, one for becky and one for myself. Loved it. And kim said that it was gonna be her next addiction. hahaha. The others bought so much food too. And esther commented, " do y'all always spend your money on food everytime you all go out?" hahah. kim and i wanted to go look for owl city's albums in the cd shop but couldn't find any :( but anyway it was still a fun day out after cts. :D
                                                                              ---------------------
Oh yes YAY IM FINALLY MEETING RACHAEL later! We had planned to celebrate our birthdays together as aprilniners and thought it was going to be easier to meet up since we are now in the same school again (hoorays)! but once again our busy schedules got in the way and so we never had it worked out. But yay, today we will! :D

[p.s. rach i still have our primary school secret notebook and postcards! hahaha. and all our secret writing languages.. hehehe. Can't wait for later!]

                                                                    

ILL MISS ALL OF YOU AND YOUR CUTE CREATIVE PAINTINGS!

[this is the cute 4-piece wooden smiley that the kids drew and painted today :D] 

Today was my last day with the kids at Pathlight School. I helped out at the Art and Craft class together with Cass, and it was indeed a very blessed time with the kids the past four mornings from 9am to 12.15pm everyday. (:

The children were all fantastic at their art pieces despite their varying degrees of autism. They displayed tremendous potential in art and some of them were really very creative with their pieces! It's amazing how creative ten and eleven year- olds like Chester, Chin Jie and Emmanuel can be! Some of them (such as Tsui Kyit and Chester) also speak really well, with great pronounciation, grammar and all (maybe even better than some of us older people! haha).

Ohh and there were the seven-year-old twins, Jason and Justin, two extremely adorable yet super hyperactive kids. They've got a rather wild imagination and they speak really well too in their american accent! I'll never forget the few instances when they displayed maturity in their compassion for others, their extreme liveliness in their unceasing informal interaction with others as well as the adorable smiles they flash when they collect their art pieces. :D It's unforgettably cute (aww), especially Jason's (or was it Justin's? oops) wide and bright smile yesterday as he posed for the camera with the peace sign.

In a nutshell, I really thank God for this eye- opening experience at Pathlight and I feel so happy and thankful that these autistic kids are blessed with unique talents from which they can find joy and confidence in. Somehow they're like my simple inspiration when i look at some of their optimism and determination. Also, ive learnt to be thankful for the simplest of things, such as for being created a normal being. Im looking forward to the senior Sport and Fun Camp at Pathlight next week! And ill really miss all the art and craft kids a lot, especially those whom i guided and interacted personally with. May God continue to bless all of them always (:

HCI dance concert

 

I met kelly for dinner after our respective match supports yesterday and went for xinying's dance concert together. It was so great to catch up with kelly and xinying, as well as layeng and olivia! We were a little late for the concert but thank you to olivia for reserving really good seats for us! (:  xinying was so cute on stage during her various performances. Great job xinying! :D During the intermission, we met tiffany (tiff) and several other cedarians too! (Haha and kelly and i started laughing non-stop when we discovered something 'in common' that was kinda funny. HAHA. ) i miss cedarians. <3 ohh ohh and i also bumped into marilyn on stage after the concert, when her flower tickled my face! hahaha. It was really fun on the whole and i was so happy to meet kelly and xinying again! :D  

My FIRSTs

I got my FIRST white slip today. And the 'cool and extraordinary' thing is that the entire student venture was caught together. haha. As usual, the student venture gathered at LT5 for our morning sessions, and we were having worship then. However, none of us heard the assembly bell ring during worship. So we continued with the time of worship and only stopped at about 7.45? Then everyone was kinda surprised that it was past 7.40, and some of us initially thought there was no morning assembly that day. But on our way to the parade square, Ms Wan, my bio teacher, caught us and so about 40 of us issued our EZ links to ms wan who booked all our names-- We were late for morning assembly.  So in the end Samuel and I joined the class after assembly. haha. It was quite an experience. (:

Today also marked the end of our seniors' season and at the same time the FIRST/ beginning of the J1 vballers' offical training. And training today was seriously and honestly, the most strenuous of the other trainings we've had this year. The sun was really sweltering HOT this afternoon, such that i actually had a heat stroke. My whole vision turned white, slowly but gradually, till i could barely see black outlines of objects/people. It was kinda scary, cos at that time we had just finished our 1.35km suicide run for warm-up and we were then throwing/serving balls over the net. And it was somehow very difficult to maintain my balance and i had to lean on liying's/valerie's shoulder (i cant remember/couldn't really see who) to remain standing.  Thanks so much for the support!:D IT WAS REALLY BURNING. And cool down was another 1.35km of suicide runs, and this is going to be the routine for the upcoming trainings. But the after feeling is somewhat satisfying for the whole team, after pulling it through together. YAY, WE DID IT! (: I wonder if i can get out of bed tomorrow in my jellified legs. heehee.

Life thus far.

The past few weeks have been dominated with an increasingly heavier truckload of assignments and tutorials, as well as the first few class tests/lecture tests (chem, bio and econs) of my first college year.

JC life seems so much tougher compared to secondary school especially with the sudden 'inflation' in currriculum difficulty level and business of school life. Sigh, my body has to get used to this so that i can restore my regular sleeping hours once more and stop falling asleep at like nine-ish or ten-ish and then waking up at three or four in the morning to complete my assignments. :/

Anyway, the Family (extended families included) went out for lunch buffet yesterday at Ellenborough Market at Merchant Court Hotel yesterday noon. It was supposed to be a belated birthday meal for my grandparents who had come down from Malaysia on Tuesday. The buffet was awesome, with its extensive array of scrumptious food. (: i especially loved the salad, sushi and chocolate-fondued-marshmallows! HAHA yepp. YUMMMM.

Ohh yes thank God for leading me to a fantastic temporary piano teacher who is currently standing in for my actual piano teacher who is on maternity leave. I am already so grateful to the temporary teacher for helping me during this one month period, knowing that i cannot afford to waste anymore time in view of my August Grade 8 exam. THANK YOU.

MY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY

It's been so long since i last blogged because things have been really busy. I could not even find time to blog on my seventeenth birthday that was like about two weeks ago? :( So anyway, this is a quick and brief overrview on MY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY!

It was a typical Thursday at school apart from the fire drill that was held during gp lesson. Jean, Cass, Kim, Yet Hong and Qiren came over after school for dinner at about 7.30pm when Kim, YetHong and Qiren had finished CCA. Jean and Cass came home with me after school and we talked and used the computer till dinner when the rest arrived. So yepp, dinner was good apart from the few awkward silences we had in between. Ohh and Qiren's face went chilli red again during dinner and that broke the silence when all the girls started laughing, the usual reaction to his sudden 'face flushes'. The food was delicious and everyone loved it! I really thank aunty for her great culinary skills. (: After dinner, mum brought out the tiramisu she had made and it was time for the Happy Birthday Song. I blew out the one candle on the tiramisu which qiren claimed looked like the one-candle-cake which he drew on the lecture desk that day. haha, quite true. Mum's tiramisu was fantastic as always, just like her oreo-based cheese cake! :D (somehow every other tiramisu and cheese cake apart from mum's seem much less appealing these days. Mum's is just too good. ) We were all satiated after dinner and tiramisu that out tummies had no more room for the blueberry cheesecake that they had bought for me. haha. So it was kept away in the fridge and no one took a bite that day (but i brought a few slices to school for them on the following Monday). Thereafter was mega camwhoring session. We all (the girls) took many many pictures together, while qiren was busy strummingand singing to my father's ancient guitar which qiren managed to tune all by himself! haha yay. Anyway yes, the girls took really a lot of pictures for teh entire night before leaving at around ten-ish. In a nutshell, my birthday night was FUN, all thanks to my friends who made my day, and not forgetting the invincible cook/baker who provided the yummy dinner and tiramisu!(: And of course, I thank God once again for bringing me into this world and i pray that i will be able to run well the race that God has predestined for me, while relying not on my own strengths, but His.

Amen!

Speech Day

I did not go for volleyball training last Saturday because i had to go back to Cedar for Speech Day. All prize winners wore their JC's blazers as we went up the stage to collect our plaque. HAHA my left court shoe was weirdly looser than the right one, so it felt kinda difficult walking in those shoes and it was especially scary on stage when i had to make sure that the left shoe did not come off. haha. I'm sure i must have looked really awkward on stage. I could not really walk properly in those shoes. And when up there receiving the prize, each of us were supposed to pose for a picture at the professional camera men whom we were supposed to order our photos from. However, there were like a swarm of camera men/women crowded juat below the stage and so i could not find the professional camera men and so i just smiled at some random camera. I trust that was a professional camera man too. HAHAHAH. Gosh. So yepp, took lots of pictures with former classmates and friends. :) Here are some of the pictures:

 

kelly, myself, and xinying! :D miss you both LOADS!

 

myself, yet hong, charlotte and i wen! 

linli, myself, charlotte and yethong!

 

myself and jasmine!

myself, mr sng and kelly!

olivia (cousinie poooohhh! haha), melissa, me.

me and tiffyyy!! (oops this picture is dark. )

me and yeeting!

Rafflesians Unite!

Yepp that's all! haha too many pictures to post. TOODLIES! :D

BIRD IN AGAIN, THIS TIME TWO!

The same blackish-brown bird has been flying into the house for the past two days. And my family is guessing that it is coming in from the kitchen door. So yepp, the kitchen door linking the dry and wet kitchen must be shut from now on. It flew in again during dinner today. Interestingly, it always takes the same route around the house, like downstairs, to upstairs, then downstairs, to living room, to upstairs again, then downstairs, then finally, OUT it goes. HAHAHA. Yesterday, the bird brought in another of it's twin friend and they were both circling my house together using the same route! Scary, but strange.